For Husbands of Wives Who Need Alcohol Detox
One of the most memorable nights any man would have is probably the toasts he made on his wedding night. The clicking of champagne glasses with the love of your life was just part of an innocent ritual, right? I mean, what’s a party without a few toasts? Then her preferences changed to a casual drink or two with her co-workers. Sounds normal I bet! Your memory is still fresh on how you two spent a few weekends back binge-watching your favorite shows. She downed more than just a couple of glasses. You’re in denial. “She’s not an addict,” you try to convince yourself. But wait. You remember the week-long vacation you guys took. You sure did think that she drank too much. And that is when it dawns on you. My wife needs alcohol detox.
While trying to come to terms with your discovery, you may start to wonder: Why wasn’t it you who developed an alcohol problem? After all, statistics show that men are more prone to developing alcohol addictions right? That is true. But you should know that each year, millions of husbands in America struggle with the issue of dealing with an alcoholic partner. If the man finds it hard to accept the gravity of the situation, he ends up fighting waves of anguish. He finds himself just sitting back and watch as his wife poisons her body, strains their relationship and even threatens the couple’s finances. If you are living with an alcoholic wife, the destruction goes beyond just your relationship with each other. The whole family is affected. I’m sure you’re aware of broken families which were as a result of alcohol addiction by a member. Any talk on beer, whiskey, and even wine fuels confrontations. A drunken argument may also lead to violence. Not a great place to be huh?
Marital tensions as a result of alcoholism mostly lead to money problems and infidelity issues. You probably would have wondered whether all this will end up in a divorce. It’s possible that you two have even discussed separation. Either way, you find yourself trying to figure out whether it’s all worth fighting for. You bottle up your thoughts because you feel like any conversation would end up in an argument and she will immediately turn to the bottle. She may even leave your place in a huff of anger and find her way to a bar. There the local bar where the bartender will be more than happy to hear out her ‘troubles’ as he keeps on refilling her glass.
The thing with alcohol addiction is that it does not discriminate on social class, race or creeds. Anyone can be affected in one way or another. Well over 15 million Americans struggle with alcoholism, and a third of this is women. While the numbers are alarming, only an average of 10% of these addicts has recognized that they have an alcohol problem and are actually willing to go through alcohol detox. If you would like to assist your wife to overcome the addiction and join the path to detox, here are a few steps to increase your chances of success.
Do Not Accept Blame for Her Addiction
The truth is, nobody is perfect. Alcoholics usually try to shift the blame to the people around them. They will come up with all sorts of excuses just to make you look like you’re the sole reason why they turned to drinking in the first place. Your wife might even state a particular action of yours that caused her to drink, say, loans you took or also the fact that you spend too much time at work. The list is endless, really. You must never accept to take the blame. An alcoholic partner will drink despite your sacrifices, looks, good intentions, love, and support. As a husband, it is your duty to understand that you are never the cause of your partner’s addiction. Instead, hold onto the hope that one day she will find her path to alcohol detox and sobriety, with your help, of course.
Patiently Wait for Circumstances That Create A Wakeup Call
Most of the times, the husband is usually frustrated as to the exact steps he should take to help his wife recover from her alcohol addiction. As much as your desire to seek treatment is noble, your wife may see it as resistance or that you are trying to go against her. Drug and alcohol counselors often recommend you wait patiently for an event that will knock them back into reality and get them to realize they need alcohol detox.
Perhaps she’ll have a health scare. Maybe a close friend or family member will put strict boundaries around their relationship. She could lose her job or face the embarrassment of a declined credit or debit card. A worst-case scenario would be an accident while she’s DUI. The fine, jail time or community service may finally scratch her record.
Get Counseling To Learn How to Nudge Her Toward Alcohol Detox
It is recommended that you sit down with a health specialist to be informed about when you need to be assertive with your alcoholic wife and when you need to be patient. An alcohol-dependent person is most likely hiding information (or it could even be just mere stress) which means that there is a part of her life that she isn’t comfortable with you knowing. A counselor will, therefore, enable you to know how to communicate with your wife and talk about the root cause of the problem.
Do Not Cover Up For Her
Any husband is naturally drawn to protecting his wife by all means. But when you find yourself misrepresenting her alcohol problem to other people, then you should ask yourself whether you’re actually helping or not. By covering for her, you are encouraging her behavior, and the addiction might end up spiraling out of control.
In a bid to help your wife be willing to go through the alcohol detox process, you should learn how to set up what is known as a compassionate trap. Your wife needs to feel the discomfort that her alcohol abuse brings. That discomfort or pain will be her motivation to want to change for the better. For instance, if your wife comes home and passes out on your couch, do not carry her to the bedroom. Do not get her a pillow either. Does this make you look like an inconsiderate husband? Yes. But will it trigger a sense of guilt in her? Also, yes. All these little actions go a long way in making your wife realize that it is high time she got that alcohol detox.